||[Sep. 4th, 2005|10:18 pm]
its memorial day weekend and im not even supposed to be here. i missed my fucking train to orange to visit pd this weekend because i didnt have my ID card and they wont sell you a ticket without an id card. but the monkey ass clerk told me i could board the train that was stopped at the station and it would leave in ten minutes and that i didnt need an ID to ride the train and to buy my ticket at the machine outside. so i go and buy my ticket from the machine and turn around for the train, all of which took about 3 minutes of frantically trying to do this shit, and the motherfucking choo choo is taking off.fuck.i was so close. oh well. so instead im pondering on what to do tonight.whether to smoke my quad and drift off into an endless,pensive state of mind.i think about all the people i used to know. all the names i used to know.and i barely remember them. i remember their houses and their mothers, but i dont remember themi.i think it would be self fullfilling if i went back and said something to these people i used to know.it just kills me knowing that at a time in my life, i spoke with these people on a regular basis,spent hours upon hours in the company of them, and know i dont even remember them.or i guess i could whip up a nice drink of southern comfort.and watch like resovoir dogs or something.one of my goods friends is going to jail pretty soon for a while.its really the first friend of mine that is seriously getting locked up.i guess thats what 2 dui's in 6 months does to you.my neighbors dad has been in prison since he was 4 years old.its really nuts.i've been going to the beach atleast 2 a week now. ususally just down to oceanside.oceanside is unreal. last time we went when i was waiting in line for little caesars i watched some mexican steal license plates off a civic and then walk over to another different civic and put the plates on.and i just stood there and did nothing because that is what happens in oceanside.its weird seeing illegal shit happen and do nothing about it because you know that if you do, nothing good will come from it.god i feel sad for this country right now.nothing is going right.work sucks but i've just accepted the fact that i have to go and do it.i know i can get better pay elsewhere but im happy right now. i dont want to fucking change something thats going good. i really have no complaints.